Beware Of the Cremation Society of Minnesota
I'm not one that generally likes talking about my personal life. However, I've been backed in a corner, and need to share my story so others don't fall victim to the predatory practices of large businesses.
The short version of this story is: Never, under any circumstance, utilize the death services of Cremation Society of Minnesota (CSM). For you and your family's sake.
On to the long version...
My mom died
My mother passed away on October 2nd, 2024, after a battle with cancer. My mother and I were estranged, and although I've had brief conversations with her and visited her in the hospital when the cancer first took hold, we've not been on speaking terms for over 5 years. I'm not happy about that, but it is what it is, and nothing can change it.
My mother was always "hands-off" when taking care of herself in any fashion. That includes making preparations for her impending death. After visiting her in the hospital, I spoke with her about what her wishes were, and she stated:
"I don't want a funeral or a service; just put me in the cheapest box you can find and burn me up!"
As you can tell, she also wasn't one to mince words, regardless of the circumstances... but after getting a few more details, I decided to pre-plan for her death through CSM. I found the cheapest receptacle for the procedure and the cheapest urn they had per her wishes, all-in-all the grand total came to $2,873.75. I paid to have this taken care of for me because ultimately, as the only next-of-kin, I'd have to be the one to do "something" at some point. When reading over the paperwork, I was fully and unconditionally under the impression that when she passed, I would get a call, confirm a couple of things, and we'd be done so I could move on...
The first call from CSM
Fast-forward to October 3rd, the day after my mother passed. I received a call from a representative of the CSM who informed me I needed to schedule a time to speak with a "Funeral Director." I questioned this and said, "I already paid to have this all taken care of; I don't need to speak to a funeral director," and so she patched me over to her manager. The manager stated:
"It's state law that you have to speak to a funeral director if someone is to be cremated. This is for regulatory purposes and your protection."
My statement back was, "Then I want to speak with a legal representative of your agency because a 'Funeral Director' is not a legal representative." His reply:
"This is the way it works with everyone; if you don't like it, you can take your mother and annuity and go elsewhere."
I'm already distraught, so I agree to schedule a time to speak with the funeral director to get this over with.
Between the time I spoke with the manager and the director, I did some Googling and found the quoted statement the manager gave of it being a "state law" to speak with a funeral director to be 100% false. There is no state requirement in that regard. Companies can have their own policies for that practice, but no where when filling out the information or re-reviewing the contract I received does it say this is a requirement. The obvious intention of all of this is during your grieving period to get you to purchase additional services so they can make more money.
When I received the call from the funeral director, I pointed this out, and I also made it 100% clear that "I'm only here to answer questions; I will not agree to purchase anything further; do not ask me." The funeral director went through a list of questions, all of which I had already answered in the previous contract signup, and finally at the end said,
"Ok, I'm going to be sending you over another contract that I need you to sign. Don't worry, this is just to protect you and make sure that the things we agreed upon get paid for."
I was already on the defense but agreed to have him send it over, although I pointed out that they're renegotiating the contract.
When I received the new contract I was absolutely in disbelief. Not only did they have me confirming information I had already confirmed, but they also had a laundry list of additional terms and conditions that I needed to agree to in order to have them perform the services they already agreed to perform under another contract. Not only was it a renegotion of the contract, but it also was essentially "blackmail," holding my mother hostage unless I agreed to new terms. I sent an email back stating I will sign nothing of the kind and asked what the recourse is here. This was on a Thursday, and I got no reply. I emailed again on a Friday and still received no reply, and then the weekend came and I got no reply. Finally, on Monday, their regional director gave me a call...
Speaking with the regional manager
I received a call from a California number from a representative who was the "Regional Director" for Minnesota. The best I can figure out is that CSM is part of a larger death-industry corporation that has nodes all over the country. When speaking with him, he explained to me that
"We need you to sign the contract in order to withdraw the funds from the annuity and cremate. We can't by-law cremate unless we have your approval."
My reply: "You DO have my approval, and I'm willing to sign something to that, but I'm not willing to take on any type of additional liability for this in any way." To give you a perspective, the contract had several provisions that would either remove all liability from them or additionally add liability to me. One in particular stated:
"If the deceased has a pacemaker or nuclear medical device that causes harm to any of our employees, you will be responsible for the legal and medical costs."
I have barely spoken to my mother in 5 years; how the hell do I know if she has a medical device? Isn't that what the medical examiner is for? Also, why would I be legally responsible? All I paid for was a service to be done. His only response to me was:
"This is the way it's always done. Unless you agree we’ll have no choice but to have you send her elsewhere or bury her."
My mother DID NOT want a burial, she had been clear about this ever since I was young. Also, in order to “send her elsewhere” I’d additionally have to sign more paperwork AND pay additional fees for transportation. This back and forth went on for a while (e.g. days) until he said, "I’ll see what I can do."
Well, you signed a contract right?
Several phone calls and over a week went by after this initial interaction. During that time, I read and re-read the contract. In it there is one small blurb that states the following:
9.3 Supplementary Contract
A supplementary contract will be issued in exchange for this policy when settlement is made under a payment option. The effective date of the payment option shall be one of the following, as appropriate: the date we received proof of death of the annuitant, the maturity date, the effective date of the surrender, or any other date if we agree.
Beyond that, it says nothing about me having to sign that contract; in fact, in the original contract, I gave CSM the right to speak with the insurance company and that they'd receive all proceeds.
I pointed this all out to the regional manager and even stated, "Well, what would you do if you couldn't have gotten ahold of me? Or what if my mom would have signed this? How could you require all this extra paperwork?" to which he replied,
"Well, that's a good point...."
Finally, he was able to get me a dumbed-down "authorization" letter that only had a few notes about allowing them to do what they had to do, which I agreed to sign and assumed everything was FINALLY good to go.
Spoiler: We weren’t “good to go”
The next day I received another call from him where he stated:
"We talked with our legal department, and unfortunately we still have to have you sign additional paperwork to get the money from the insurance agency."
I repeated my exhaustive response of "I will not sign another 'contract', but if you send me over the paperwork, I'll look it over and see if I'm willing to agree to an authorization…" So he sent me more paperwork and low-and-behold it contained everything the previous one did that I had fought over a week about. I told him I wouldn't sign it and am feeling pressured to seek a legal representative. I asked him: “is there any way we can get their legal team and the insurance company on the line at the same time so we can figure this out?” To which he agreed. Another weekend went by and another 2 days without a call from him; he then called on a Tuesday to tell me:
"Well, you know how it is; everyone's busy. But I'll have something for you by tomorrow."
I didn't get a callback, so I called him and got no answer. I did the same thing a day later, which was on a Friday, and assumed I wouldn't be able to speak with him for the entire weekend again, but Sunday rolled around, and I received a text message that he wanted to set up a call with him, myself, and their lawyer. Which I agreed to.
The lawyer
They called me on Sunday, and I aired my grievances to the lawyer. She stated that:
“We just need you to sign this to release the funds; we have your agreement for the cremation, and that's fine, but the insurance won't release the funds unless we have you sign this."
I said fine, but I do not agree to new terms and conditions as part of a contract; if you send me an authorization, I'll sign it, but nothing beyond that. She stated that:
"you should have already been sent over information like that at some point"
to which I pointed out that I had only received one version of the contract that contained several other liability-based T&Cs, so I asked her with this authorization what kind of terms were there? She said:
"Oh, nothing crazy, just a few required things."
I agreed to have them send it over so I could review it. I opened the email with the contract, and it was the exact same contract I had been getting all along. I called back to get them back on the phone and explained I wouldn't sign. She then stated I could "cross off" anything I don't agree with and they would review it. In the contract there were 13 new terms and conditions, 7 of those 13 I had to cross out because they either removed all liability from CSM for any kind of mistake they may made, OR WORSE, it would put liability on me in certain circumstances. After crossing everything out and emailing it back, they finally agreed to it and would move forward.
Conclusion
3 more days go by until they do the procedure, and I get a message saying the cremains would be mailed to me and arrive by 6 p.m. the next day. I did NOT get the cremains the next day, but got it the following... I guess that's USPS's fault and not theirs, but with the amount of money I paid for a cardboard box and an urn you’d think they’d do something a little more...
I finally have my mother's remains in my possession. It took 24 days from the date of death and unbelievable amounts of stress for this to happen. 24 days for me to have some closure and start grieving. This all could have been solved with a single phone call to the lawyer a day or two after the death, but instead, they dragged it out and were negligent of the situation.
I have received no offer of a concession from CSM, nor have I received any type of apology for the bait-and-switch nature of this process. They happily took my $3,000 for the cheapest box and urn they had and will move on with their day and do this to the next person. They are a truly disgusting organization, and I feel bad for anyone who has to deal with them.
This post is not meant to be for sympathy; it's meant to be for awareness. Do your research; I wish I would have because if you do a look for CSM online, you can see the vast amounts of issues they have caused people. Additionally during all this I did have consultation with a lawyer in the Duluth area who explained “It wasn’t the first time” they’ve had issues with CSM…
I have closure now and can grieve, no thanks to CSM…. Don’t make the same mistake.